How to gain Self Control
My spiritual guide taught me that whenever we want to perform an action, especially a wrong one, we get two thoughts. One supports our current action and the other votes against it. As humans, specifically during our earlier stages towards righteousness, the urge to do a wrong or evil deed is way stronger than that of not doing it.
To be aware of the above alone is a great blessing. Most of the evil or wrong things happening around us or by us are usually done without listening to the inner voice calling against it. That is because that inner call for righteousness is too weak. Or if I rephrase, we are too loud ourselves that we hardly notice it.
Human is a complex creation. We need to understand that since our birth we have slowly polluted our innocence and have rounds and rounds of worldly desires wrapped around us, which has really suppressed that purity of our Self. That’s the reason we can hardly hear it pleading against wrongdoings. Whereas, on the other hand, we are always super-ready to perform a wrong action because all those years we have trained our five senses to support us in that way. In fact some of us may attain satisfaction only after committing an inappropriate action e.g. backbiting, abusive language, poking fun of someone, and so on.
Having said that, if we want to listen to our good-self then we’ll first have to understand ourselves. We need to know how the whole thing works and how can we break it down to attain the blessing of listening and following that call of righteousness.
The first and foremost step towards it is to gain self control, and to attain that, we need to know what causes us to perform an action.
Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. said: “Innamal aamaalu binniyaat” (Actions are dependent upon their intentions)
Therefore for a start we need to get our intentions on the right track. And the best way to get intentions right is to reduce the anger and negativity we have in our eyes and mind about things going around us. What we see bad in others is usually a bad habit in ourselves. With consistency and will power, it wouldn’t take long to unwrap ourselves, God willing.
All good is from God, and I seek His forgiveness for my mistakes.